DR. SIGMUND T. SCHUKELGRUBER  UNEARTHS RARE BRIDGE POEM BY LORD BYRON

Historical records show that Lord Byron was indeed a member of the infamous Hellfire Bridge Club set up by Sir Francis Dashwood. Apparently his early death owed more to his painful experiences at the bridge table than anything else. Nevertheless he did find time to write this wonderful short poem, which is being published for the very first time here on Bigot-Johnson's amazing blog. Entitled  " A Loser's Tale " Lord Byron lists the bog standard reasons why success at the tables eluded him, as they have with thousands of other born losers......

If I hadn't doubled them into game
I wouldn't have felt such awful shame
Two hearts plus two gave us a painful score
Which saw my partner head for the door

If I hadn't been reckless by opening light
I wouldn't have turned a deathly white
For when a penalty double set us 800 adrift
My partner went apeshit, boy was he miffed

If I hadn't misplayed that lay down grand
By letting a trick through with winners in hand 
I'm sure my partner would have kept his cool
Instead of shrieking " You bloody great fool "

So if I had played
With open eyes
A bit of nous 
A bit of guile
A touch of flair
A brain in gear
We would have won.....
By a country mile !