Wednesday, 4 April 2012

BIGOT SLIPS UP BIG TIME.......... Report by Pun

( At long last the Walnut Tree Allotment Society BC had something concrete to pin on Bigot-Johnson. Several alleged misconduct charges had put him a very sticky wicket  Here below is a short extract from the cricket-loving chairman's closing speech at the end of a very long and protracted disciplinary hearing.) 

" Thankfully Bigot ....we've had someone watching you for quite some time, and as a result a huge list of incidents were meticulously and carefully recorded, revealing irrefutable evidence of numerous occasions you crossed that boundary line.
So have been caught out so often  that your time here as unwelcome member has run out. Accept the fact it's all over. Clearly, you were stumped by the sheer weight of evidence regarding each charge brought against you. Unlike before , when you managed to give previous disciplinary committees the slip , we were not so gullible. Long on limp excuses cut no ice with us. So by hook and by crook we've managed to nail you good and proper. By living your life on the edge it was inevitably we were in for a fall. All this clap trap about having a chip on your shoulder because you were born an ugly baby with deformed club feet, only to be   abandoned as a child outside an orphanage,  cannot be allowed to excuse your behaviour.
We are not prepared under any circumstances to duck our responsibility, and our decision to sweep aside your mitigation pleas was unanimous. The truth is that we are bowled over with joy at the prospect of never seeing you in the batting line up again. Strangely though, your dismissal only came about through an excellent LBW shout..........Good day to you sir  "

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