Most bridge players , and I must be honest here , have no idea or ability to play the game at an expert level. Many commentators have described these hopelessly inept players as " headless chickens " having no sense of direction at all.
However , research has shown that these random and unpredictable players behave more like wild geese , who embark upon all manner of chases but never to any meaningful conclusion. They chase after victories. They chase after tops. They chase after overtricks . They chase after green points. But they never succeed. They are all victims of the Wild Goose Syndrome.
Fuelled by blind optimism they set out in pursuit of goals that they haven't got a cat in hell's chance of ever achieving. For them bridge has become an endless wild goose chase , which is destined to prove pointless and unfruitful .
Historians, mistakenly claim , that the phrase wild goose chase originated from a type of horse race which took place in 16th century England . This bizarre sport involved a pack of horsemen following a leader through woodland countryside , but finding real difficulty in predicting which paths would be chosen . Add to that the difficulty in following the paths that were chosen , and one had the recipe for a futile exercise . Yet the real truth behind the origin of the phrase is something completely different. During the time that bridge was beginning to get firmly established in this country , a certain Mr. Wildgoose , a most eccentric player by all accounts, amazed everyone by his totally unpredictable , random , off-the-wall , and utterly hapless card play . Eventually , concerned members took him to a psychiatric doctor who , by virtue of diagnosing him with as yet an unknown mental disorder , felt obliged to name the syndrome after him.
One unfortunate consequence of being a bridge player, diagnosed with the wild goose syndrome , is that other players will start to take the piss. Exasperated by the inevitable bird-brained, scatter gun approach to both the bidding and play of the cards , endless sarcastic and cutting remarks will be directed towards the victim without mercy or forgiveness. Examples include...
- let's cut to the chase....you're useless
- as soon as you played that card your goose was cooked
- your inept play has made my bowels movements as loose as a goose
- boy, do you get my gander up
- no wonder opponents cackle when they see you coming
- your random play gives me goose bumps
- be warned.......I'm more than prepared to say boo to a goose like you
In some clubs , the majority of the members will be cursed with this awful syndrome, which usually means they flock together and pair up with up with one another. When both players in a partnership are affected by this disturbing condition , nobody at the table will have any idea of what is going on with regards to their bidding and play. Indeed , the wild goose chases they then embark upon will usually lead everyone up the proverbial garden path ...or on a merry dance. And as for a possible cure or effective treatment....... your geese is as good as mine.
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