IMAGINE IF THE  " BEST BEHAVIOUR AT BRIDGE " POLICY  HAD BEEN INTRODUCED INTO ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE FOOTBALL....... ( Skit by Carp )

Rooney ( forward ) : Would you like to have a go with the ball Joleon ?
Lescott ( defender ) : Why thank you Wayne.....but no ...... it's only right you have a pot a goal....
Rooney : Well , if you insist ....but I don't want to kick it too hard in case I hurt the goalie
Lescott : How considerate of you......best then to gently stroke it towards him
Rooney : But what if the ball passes by him.....I might end up scoring a goal.....and that could easily cause him great distress
Lescott : Well in that case....just gently roll it towards him , and I'm sure he'll have plenty of time to get his body behind the ball to pull off a save
Rooney : Thank you so much for your kind advice...
Lescott : My pleasure ....because the very thought of having to tackle you fills me with great worry and apprehension.......I just wouldn't be able to live myself if I was responsible for you feeling even the slightest bit of pain..... or embarrassment
Rooney : You sir are a gentleman !
Lescott : And you sir have my utmost respect and admiration....