THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BRIDGE CLUB's JOB SPECIFICATION FOR THE POST OF ORDINARY COMMITTEE MEMBER...................

Responsibilities and duties include :
- To recite the oath of allegiance to the club chairman , Bigot-Johnson, at the start of each and every committee meeting
- To endorse the flawed vision and dubious wisdom of the chairman
- To acknowledge and fully embrace the duty of confidentiality, the principle of collective responsibility, and the doctrine of blind faith
- Never to engage in idle gossip with the ordinary members, or to answer any of their questions regarding committee matters or affairs, no matter how insignificant they appear to be
- To fully support, and vote through, all constitutional rule changes designed to give the chairman unlimited and unfettered power
- To assist in all propaganda initiatives to mould, shape, direct and control the minds ( and actions ) of the membership, recognised for being both gullible and stupid 
- To seek, obtain, solicit and dig out any useful and damaging information on all dissident club members
- To assist in the compilation, and filing away, of secret folders on all dissident and undesirable members
- To wear black shirts and black boots at all club functions and duplicates, in order to announce your enhanced status and position within the club
- To promote a culture of double standards whereby the chosen few get all the privileges they thoroughly deserve
- To adopt and maintain a " us and them " mentality
- To place the needs, wishes and desires of the chairman above all other things
- To turn a blind eye to all questionable initiatives undertaken by the chairman, and any political shenanigans involving the club officers 
- To suppress all personal concerns and criticisms, or twangs of conscience, by adopting the mantra of the three monkeys
- To actively support the regular  " membership cleansing operations " ruthlessly carried out by the two new breeds of TDs ( namely the Terror Dispensing squad and the Termination Disposal specialists )