Wednesday, 19 December 2012

BIGOT-JOHNSON PULLS A FAST ONE OVER OLD NICK HIMSELF......( An unbelievable but true story by Bridgemeister Gibson ) 

Desperate to win a trophy....any trophy in fact....Bigot made the decision to sponsor the one professional who could guarantee him success. It was Old Nick, the devil himself. So without any hesitation or concern Bigot entered into a pact where he would gladly hand over his soul, providing the devil helped him to win the next big pairs event coming up at the Walnut Tree Allotment Society BC.
As it happened the field was a very weak one indeed. Nine pairs were made up of of little old ladies all suffering from short-term memory problems. Six pairs were scratch ones made up of  floaters who always found it difficult to keep regular partners. The other three pairs seemed the only ones capable of counting to 13 and following suit.
The competition was a walkover for Bigot. Forty-two boards were played over two sessions, and Old Nick was declarer in 27 of them, most of which were well bid games and slams effortlessly brought home by superior technique and ability. It was though the man of horns could read through the backs of the opponents' cards ( which obviously he could ! ). His doubles were devastating, and not surprisingly their final score was announced as " a record breaking 86.7 % ". This came about from registering 30 outright tops and 12 boards well above average. Bigot of course drooled with delight as he went up to receive the trophy he so desperately craved,  not to mention the £60 winners' cheque that came with it.
However, once outside the club house Old Nick approached Bigot to remind him of the agreement he had entered into.
" I've come to collect your soul, Bigot " 
" OK....a deal is a can have it " replied the nonchalant and delirious trophy holder.
But when the devil peered into Bigot's twisted and demented psyche, all that could be seen was a corrupt, vain, dishonest, stupid, hypocritical, depraved, greedy, bad tempered, and utter self-centred person.

" Quite frankly..... ", said Old Nick, "....your soul is not worthy having. Somehow......... I get the feeling I've been duped "
" Indeed you have....", laughed Bigot, "......indeed you have "  

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