BIGOT'S WORDS OF ADVICE TO HIS NAIVE , ERROR-PRONE PARTNERS......

"  Partner......if you insist on failing then so be it. But please ...next time try to fail better "

"  Partner......I do not subscribe to the philosophy that if at first you don't succeed try, try again. 
That is a load of bollocks. Who wants to be seen as a fool forever chasing lost causes. "

" Partner....please remember this.....the uglier your attitude is towards your opponents the more likely you are to achieve success. This is the undisputed Law of the Human Condition. "

" Partner....some people share the opinion that the game of bridge can always be improved by a little friendly and social conversation . But that is a view taken only by a very small misguided minority of players who don't understand what warfare is really about. "

" Partner.... the most important occupation of a bridge player is to engage in fierce , over-heated arguments with obnoxious and irritating opponents . Because let's face it.... this department of the game has been tacitly encouraged by ineffectual committees,   and TDs alike , since time immemorial. "