Wednesday, 12 November 2014


( At a recent disciplinary hearing at the Walnut tree Allotment Society BC headquarters , Bigot found himself at risk of being kicked out of the club , because of his ill-advised , abusive remarks to a rather officious TD . A short extract from the hearing's transcript can be seen below . )

Chairman : Bigot....we on committee have had enough of your foul-mouthed utterances , which continue to upset TDs and other members in this club. What do you have to say for yourself ?
B-J : Why don't you ignorant numpties wise up a bit.....have you never read Ayer's Language, Truth and Logic......written in 1936 ?
C : No...... I haven't,,,,,,,,but what has this piece of work to do with your case ?
B-J : Well , it might help explain and justify my alleged misconduct. You see.... it's all to do with the boo-hooray theory , which is the apt and widely employed nickname given to the view that any utterance..... which can be described as morally justified.
C : I don't understand......
B-J : That's because you're a allow me to lay it on the line. All my utterances..... I tend to use colourful and explicit terms.....but they do not set out out to state facts. Instead they contain only evaluative elements . These utterances therefore cannot be defined as defamatory or malicious......because like ejaculations they simply express the reactions of the person at that precise moment in time. So when this toe-rag of a TD refuses to reprimand an opponent .....who was clearly guilty of cheating by his timed hesitations.......then my immediate reaction was to call him a...."  sycophantic nonce "......" despicable creep "..... and " arse-licking pervert " .......all evaluative comments which were nothing more than knee-jerk responses of a man in a highly distressed state. No harm was ever meant or intended.
C : Oh.....that's a very interesting way of looking at things....
B-J : Indeed it is....

( Later on at the same hearing )

C : I still can't get it out of my mind that you were bang out of order making those abusive remarks......shocking ,outrageous opinions which you should have kept to yourself......not to be broadcasted in a loud, offensive way so that the whole world could hear them as well.
B-J : But I believe in being honest.....and open... not to suppress my true emotions and feelings. Unfortunately , I am a slave to my conscience.....and when my conscience tells me to do or say things , I respond accordingly...
C : I don't understand why.....
B-J : Yet show yourself to be a complete numpty. So it seems I must now explain to you what having a conscience is all about. It is the holding of a firm conviction that some action.....such as telling TDs  that they are failing to do their jobs morally obligatory. Whenever a wrongdoing has been committed  I , like many other good people , believe that all moral beliefs and arguments provide powerful,  over-riding reasons for taking a stand against all perceived forms of injustice. To challenge the wrongdoer and to condemn his/her actions is a matter of conscience. Indeed , my conscience compelled me to expose the TD's ineffective control of cheating within the club, and biased favouritism towards certain individuals. 
C : So what you are saying then is that conscience represents the voice of God ?
B-J : last you're beginning to see the light
C : But how can you know what morality God preaches ......say in bridge-related matters.... to act as spokesman for the Lord's opinions ?
B-J : Some of us are blessed with finding ways in which to receive God's wisdom, advice and guidance.....and I can tell you..... LSD is one of them ! Anyway , what God has told me is this ......" Man should be excused from blame for following his conscience , for even if it has erred , then by definition he was still trying to do his best " . And believe you me I really went out of way to do my best.....and to make all my utterances truly evaluative ! 
C : Hold on there....surely the social consequences of your beliefs , and these awful abusive utterances , might somewhat be limited by the equally controversial claim that the extended boundaries of free speech are too extreme to be conscienciously held ?
B-J : Oops......I think you've got me there....bugger....bugger.....bugger

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