AN UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING NEARLY TRUE STORY....by Bridgemeister Gibson

On night , as I was on the way to my local bridge club , a small invisible leprechaun dropped from an overhanging branch onto my shoulder. This magical creature then told me that anyone who told me a lie tonight would be punched in the face and sent sprawling.
Believing all this to be a figment of my imagination, I dismissed this creature from my mind as I sat down to play bridge with my partner.However , on board 4 my left-hand opponent opened one spade, and in a flash my new found acquaintace jumped off my shoulder onto the table to throw a punch, which sent the psycher crashing the floor. 
After the commotion subsided with no one ( least of all me ) able to explain what happened, no further incidents occurred until board 19. During the auction I inquired as to what an " alerted " bid meant. The answer I was given was clearly incorrect, and so the leprechaun was at it again , knocking this particular liar out of his seat with a thunderous uppercut. For a second time onlookers were shocked and perplexed as to what was happening and why. 
Then came the last board of the evening, when my hapless and hopeless partner made an appalling lead of a heart against the opponents' 3NT contract. So when this contract made with an overtrick , I asked my partner what on earth possessed him to make such a dreadful lead. Eventually , he muttered two words......" I thought....." but before he could say anything more the leprechaun jumped down onto the table for a third time to land yet another fearsome punch. 

Truly a man of his word.