Sunday 22 March 2015

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY..........

( The following definitions all relate the term " field "  as would appear in any comprehensive bridge glossary written up by Lucifer himself ) 

Field : 
  • what far too many players do with their first round responsive bids when partnering serial psychers
  • the number of players participating in a competitive event , the majority of which have no hope whatsoever of winning but are simply there to make up the numbers and of course the prize money on offer
  • a place where rabbits and lambs for the slaughter all gather together under the same roof, for the " big boys " to seek out , target and butcher
  • the name given to describe the "day "  after the slaughter is over , which all the big boys can now reflect upon with smug and gloating delight 
  • an ideal out-of-the-way burial ground for the covert disposal of bodies , being all those nasty , trouble making and undesirable reprobates ,  whose memberships needed to be permanently terminated by no-nonsense , zero-tolerance driven committees 
  • the kind of " view " eagle-eyed cheats at the table have successfully managed to expand in their quest to find out that extra detail about their opponents' cards
  • a specific area of knowledge , interest or expertise an expert player might have ( eg.        " his particular field of interest is in developing an undetectable form of finger signalling " 
  • an ability to handle or evade awkward questions in such a way as to never reveal the   truth , especially in situations like attending disciplinary hearings to answer allegations of cheating , or rude and offensive behaviour
  • a far from level playing area when up against against dodgy TDs ,  and opponents who either (a) use overly complex unintelligible bidding systems or (b) resort to forms of cheating in keeping with filthy dogs 

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