DR. JOHN INTERVIEWS BIGOT-JOHNSON , THE CONTROVERSIAL NEW CHAIRMAN OF THE CARDINALS BRIDGE CLUB........
Dr.J : Is it true that prior to seizing the job of chairman, you were a complete nobody in the club with no idea or feeling about the game of bridge ?
B-J : It's true.......but God am I smart....but hey , I don't like the tone of your voice or the implied criticism behind that question
Dr.J : Is it also true that dozens of members are concerned about your lust for power , and your unshakable determination to be in total control , making all the decisions
B-J : Yes indeed ....because let's face it democratically run committees are a joke. Democracy is either an excuse for mob rule or a hapless, lengthy process, where only compromise decisions can ever get reached .....none of which satisfy anyone , or achieve any worthwhile goal. Put a dictatorship in place and things get done fast and effectively
Dr.J : I see....
B-J : Moreover democracy is for those who are happy to lurch from one set of objectives back to another. It is riddled with procrastination , indecision , contradictions and policy reversals. Under my rule..... change only takes place in a forward direction , with no deviations or diversions. Consequently sustained progress can be achieved in a no-nonsense and ruthlessly efficient way
Dr.J : Well , I'm putting you down as a control freak. Someone with delusions of your own sense of self-importance. Someone with delusional fantasies of power , relevance and omnipotence .....all of which are fuelled by your grossly inflated self-esteem
B-J : Listen you .....all of us suffer from narcissistic personality disorders ....mine appear to be a little more acute
Dr.J : Yes....but your over-developed symptoms have manifested themselves into heartless , bullying , megalomaniac character traits
B-J : I resent that analysis.....the simple truth is that I'm an extremely bright and intelligent person with strong convictions about what needs to be done , and how to go about getting things done. Most people who get elected onto committees are dim-witted , dilatory , weaklings.....useless appendages who hamper the efforts of those who want to achieve. It takes balls to commandeer and combine several keys posts into the chairmanship role.....especially in the face of whinging , whining whinnies , who hate having their delicate little noses put out of joint
Dr. J : But is it not the case that your ruthless and brutal leadership has caused several super workers to resign
B-J : Those deserting tosspots were pushy , interfering busy bodies who were out to usurp my authority , and to undermine my plans. They jumped before they were pushed !
Dr.J : It seems to me that along side your complex ridden personality you have this insane delusional belief that you are an expert in all aspects of bridge and committee work , when clearly the opposite is true. You have orchestrated a coup putting democracy to the sword. So please tell me how you managed to get so many unquestioning and blind supporters to fall in line ?
B-J : Look....the thing about puppets is that (a) they are all stupid , and (b) they are all willing to sing and dance to the same tune. This enables me to call all the shots and to get things done without any obstacles , restraints or barriers being put in my way. Thankfully , the people on my committee now are all ignoramuses, who fail to grasp what the issues really are ....let alone what my secret agenda is about. And because they're so clueless , they are more than happy to toe the line.... and to follow me as their leader
Dr.J : So would you agree then that you are nothing more than a pathological egotist ?
B-J : My God you've hit the nail on the head there.....and I feel it is only right and fair to hit a nail on top of your head...................Ronnie hold him down while I get Reggie to find my tool box