Thursday 9 April 2015

SHBC DISCIPLINARY HEARING…..No. 4651

( After introducing sub-zero tolerance policies with a vengeance, Bigot-Johnson and his cronies were on yet another Pantopod witch hunt. This was now the time to set about anyone who stepped over the line. Up next on the long list of miscreants was Pernella Pantopod , on the serious charge of drawing and publishing a picture on her blog of committee members wearing jackboots,  brown shirts and all sporting little Hitler moustaches. An extract from the hearing’s transcript appears below :

Bar steward : All rise for the Fuhrer……
B-J ( walking in ) : Thank you steward…..now you may all sit down
PP : Can any one explain why I’m here ?
B-J : As if you don’t know….hell's bells , surely you don't deny the fact that you depicted committee members …on your obscene ,  offensive , vulgar blog….as fascists ?
PP : No , I don’t……for I regard that picture as a work of art
B-J :  Well , my spies have also reported that there have been other derogatory posts on your blog depicting committee members in this club as fascists thugs ….with raised straight arm salutes……. and swastika flags being waved all over the place
PP : Like the ones hung up on the walls inside this room…….
B-J : Yes…but this is committee will not tolerate any behaviour inside or outside the premises…..which brings the club into disrepute…… or puts a slur upon the character and reputation of its elite members
PP : Like who ?
B-J : Your reference to Sanctimonious Sentinels…..SS...... for short
PP : In keeping with most club committees ,  you and your lackeys have set yourselves well above the rank and file membership 
B-J : You just don’t get it , do you ?  Being in office qualifies us to have enhanced status , umpteen privileges and the divine right to promote double standards
PP : AH....but what I was doing was making an observation about corrupt committees in general with no references or mention to this club
B-J ; You can’t fool us…..we know who you were aiming your satirical comments at…..but thankfully our sub-zero tolerance policies provide us with carte blanche powers to assume what we like….and to do what we like
PP :  Your sub- zero tolerance policy has created a cold , harsh, oppressive environment,  which has frozen out all those who see as a threat. Such a merciless,  uncompassionate policy simply allows its chief administrators to escape the burden of making discretionary decisions . Moreover, it exonerates them from any charges of prejudice and bias, which in turn enables them to target  who they like…..or should I say dislike
B-J : I’m not listening to this defamatory rubbish……you’re someone you clearly needs a thrashing
PP :  Oh I see….by refusing to consider each individual’s proud history and honest intentions which inspired their actions , sub-zero tolerance policies deny the unique worth and dignity of every person that holds a honest and fair opinion
B-J : So what were your intentions exactly ?
PP : To expose all those in authority who choose to abuse their power ………such as doing away with undesirables , and silencing all those in opposition
B-J : Well Pernella …..our intention has always been to create a very cohesive , warm, friendly and social bridge club , where like-minded people can come to enjoy one another’s company over a game of bridge
PP : You just don’t get it…..your sub-zero tolerance policy puts you…..and your lackeys…into a position of supreme power to make irrational decisions…..and to impose disproportionate punishments on those who in all innocence commit a minor transgression….or as , in my case,  who have the audacity to expose wrongdoing and corruption
B-J : Too bloody right…..because let’s face you are guilty of  broadcasting vile , highly provocative , and damaging lies…….for which the penalty must be either a severe beating , or a programme of drug induced brain-washing 
PP : But whatever happened to free speech ?
B-J : That went out years ago.....round about the time Stalin came into power
PP : But I don’t recall the denial of free speech being imposed on members under the current rules of the Constitution
B-J : Ad hoc rules have now taken over from the Constitution...... on the grounds of their desirability,  flexibility and effectiveness
PP : This is outrageous…
B-J : Ronnie.......….take this woman down to the cellars to join the others who are ready for our next in house “ corrective “ therapy session
Ronnie : Your wish is my command….oh Fuhrer     
      


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