DR. JOHN'S CASE NOTES : THE WINNIE THE POOH SYNDROME

It seems to be the case that bridge players the world over have fallen victim to this particular syndrome ,  without it ever being properly diagnosed. This is because the condition is a combination of three disorders of which only one is occasionally recognised and identified.
Named after Winnie The Pooh , who really was a rather disturbed bear , details of this particular all encompassing syndrome were first published in an article by the Canadian Medical Association. Researchers there diagnosed and identified the bear as having 3 disorders which clearly match those of many bridge players. These involve the following behaviours.

1. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Here the victim suffers from the inattentive sub-type, where he exhibits careless and indifferent behaviour towards those around him , which in the case of bridge players includes partners, opponents and tournament directors. 

2. Impulsivity and obsessive fixations. Bridge players , just like Pooh , are obsessed by the idea that everyone is out to get them. Another deep seated obsession is their overwhelming desire to grab glory , wherever and whenever they can , irrespective of the cost and the risks involved. The glory might not be a jar of honey , but every top they can get is worth its weight in gold and self-adulation. This fixation has clearly contributed to the development of a results merchant persona , and the callous adoption of unethical and coffee-housing tactics in order to screw their opponents.  

3. Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Here sufferers exhibit repetitive counting. What cards have been played in each suit , and how the remaining cards may be divided between the other three players. HCPs are counted out as the cards are played , leaving further counting to be done as to what HCPs could be left in the two unseen hands. Given that the Winnie The Pooh syndrome has a combination of disorders, the likelihood is that a victim of this condition will develop a habit of talking out loud , as if he had a giant invisible,  impaired hearing,  rabbit sitting on his knee.

Sadly , treating victims with combination disorders is far from easy , and as yet no successful treatment or therapy has been found for this particular syndrome.  Indeed, Winnie The Pooh , despite the best efforts of his friends to help him and change his ways , seems utterly content to stay the same. Bridge players , clearly,  are no different.