HEADLINES USED IN OLD SHEFFIELD BRIDGE CLUB NEWSLETTERS REVEAL THE FULL EXTENT OF PUN'S RARE TALENT................. ( All the names used below are genuine )

- Partner's antics makes Anne Cross

- Rosemary ( Johnson ) invited to spice up D team in the nick of thyme

- Grossman wins re-election onto committee by 144 votes

- Pope gives his blessings to committee's new proposals

- Robinson finds himself in a jam

- Jacobs finally gets a foot onto the Chamberlain ladder

- Sandy shores up the C team

- Club gets burgled : Littlewood calls in the copse

- " Is bridge a fair game ? " asks Partridge

- Woodman axes 3 more club competitions

- Barber caught out by scissors coup

- Fishy goings-on by opponents upset Pike

- Upstairs fire : Waterman and Hose to the rescue

- Fingerprints found on lead piping in the library : White is the prime suspect

- Seeing double : Ian Johns caught partnering Ian Johnson

- Foley and Camm shaft their opponents

- New bridgemates suit Taylor to a tee

- Ann Wall papers over the cracks

- Mystery deepens as to where Bernard Parkes his Porsche

( In many ways this is a quirky kind of thing any member can have fun with in their own bridge club newsletters.......if only to add a bit of light relief for those who like something completely different. )