Friday, 9 April 2010

DR. JOHN'S CASE NOTES..........................
BOANTHROPY : This rare and unusual disorder can be seen in people, who adopt the belief that they are cattle. Indeed, bridge players are highly susceptible to developing this condition : a situation which has sadly gone on undetected for years.
Originally diagnosed by early Christians over 2000 years ago, the first known case involved the Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar. History tell us " he was driven away from his people, only to eat grass like a cow and behave like a wild beast " ( Daniel 4:33 ). However, in today's world it is bridge players, not Kings, who find themselves believing that they are cattle. This is purely the consequence of hearing constant bovine references made about them, by other players, which reinforces again and again their delusional beliefs. Comments such as :
- You silly old moo
- So you like big fields ?
- Don't give me any of your bull-shit
- Is there an udder way of making the contract
- You heard what.......?
- You're a bull..y
- What's your beef, then ?
- Doing that to him is like flashing a red rag to a bull
- You're teetering again
- You'll be waiting till the cows come home
- You're like a bull in a china shop
- Holy cow
- Just take the bull by the horns
- She's in a good moo...d
- Milk it for all it's worth
- He's always doing things on the hoof
So it's of no surprise when players , who are subjected to these remarks, start to believe that they are in fact a member of the bovine family. However, as treatments go there are none, but " putting them out to grass " is often a suggestion that really goes down well with all these sufferers........such is their herd mentality.

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