BENIGN BC ( USA ) INTRODUCES EXCITING NEW COMPLIANCE AWARDS FOR 2013..............

Apart from the usual glut of trophies which as always will end up with the usual suspects, the club chairman has now introduced a whole load of compliance awards to reward those totally committed to upholding the hundreds of draconian sub-zero tolerance policy rules. These disciplinary initiatives of course have reshaped and reformed the club into one renown for its warm, welcoming and friendly atmosphere. 
Indeed, these compliance awards were created to inspire and motivate members to be on their best behaviour at all times,  no matter how difficult the circumstances may have been.

Biting One's Tongue award for the player who,  despite the annoying habits and relentless provocation by others, managed to hold his tongue and keep his emotions in check 
Turning The Other Cheek is an award for the person who fell victim to an unwarranted  assault, yet cast aside thoughts of retaliation only to put himself back into the firing line 
Goody Two-shoes award for the player who received the most nominations for his/her impeccable manners, sincerity and all round kindness
Uriah heap award for the club's biggest creep noted for his cloying humility and obsequiousness 
Wouldn't Say Boo To A Goose award for the player whose total silence was based on a crippling combination of timidity, hesitation and fear 
The Tommy award for the player who became so quiet other members were convinced he/she had become a deaf mute
Empty Personality award for the player who underwent the greatest change, by leaving behind his lively, boisterous, entertaining, colourful character to become an empty, bland, compliant shadow of his former self
Stand On Ceremony award for the most brainwashed player, who rigidly held onto protocol and formal manners as if his/her life depended upon it
The Arse Licking ( Brown Tongue ) award for the member who chose to obey all the SZTP rules in an attempt to win the praise, admiration and affection of the club's privileged elite
Sticks And Stones award for the victim of both psychological and physical bullying, who never once allowed " names " to hurt him..........only the well aimed flying bridgemates and fists