Yes, the bridge book that is destined to be the world's best seller has now finally come to fruition after several years of toil and sweat. Bigot Johnson, the editor and creator of the infamous " Bad Bridge " magazine, has produced what many are calling " amazing, utterly unbelievable ......groundbreaking material ". A treasury of ideas and advice based upon his vast experience, cunning and wisdom.
This is a book which can turn mere insignificant mortals into bridge legends. This is a book about how to dedicate your life to bridge, how to win at this game without necessarily having a single shred of ability, and how to survive in high octane, intense encounters of the third kind. This is a book for guilt ridden, overly timid, bunnies.
Its contents include :
- How to needle opponents into losing their focus and concentration
- How to watch your partner go down in a stone cold contract but still hold your composure
- How to still earn praise and admiration from others when you fail to make a contract
- How to rationalise wasting 20 or more hours a week playing bridge
- How to rationalise spending even more hours a week on reading and discussing bridge related topics
- How to communicate secretly with partner without the opponents ever knowing or suspecting
- How to hog the bidding when partnering a complete woodentop
- How to keep your bridge widow of a wife reasonably contented
- How to develop a thick skin and a sharp tongue
- How to manipulate TDs to (a) accept your version of the disputed facts, (b) take your side in the dispute, and (c) award you a more than favourable ruling
- How to dump unwarranted partners who refuse to go of their own accord
- How to read the flight path of a fast approaching flying bridgemates and take evasive action
- How to tune your hearing into table conversations taking place several yards away
- How to get a really bad board scrubbed from the scoring, by clever sleight of hand card replacement
- How to persuade the best players to take up your sponsorship offers
- How to appear a far better player than you really are
- How to adopt proper etiquette when it clearly pays you to do so
- How to successfully defend yourself at disciplinary hearings
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