BIGOT'S WIFE LAYS DOWN THE LAW BUT THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE CHAIRMAN PULLS OFF HIS GREATEST COUP...... ( A very nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson )

Forever cursing the day Bigot took up competitive bridge, his much abandoned wife had reached the end of her tether waiting for him to come back from the club. The law had to be laid down in no uncertain terms : bridge was to be severely rationed .
Well, a week ago Bigot went out as usual to take on one of his classes for a few extra quid. Expected him home around 6 pm, to be taken out for an evening meal, Bigot failed to appear.
Unable to resist another three hours of glorious bridge,  he had stayed on for the evening session having been offered the chance to partner the club's top player. Arriving home about midnight, he sneaked in by the back door hoping to make it to the spare bedroom without being noticed. No such luck. She who must be obeyed was standing at the top of the stairs, rolling pin in hand, and frothing at the mouth.
" Where the bloody hell have you been ? " 
Bigot, shocked and shaken with guilt written all over his face, decided to unleash the mother of all excuses.
" I'm so so sorry, darling....I done a terrible thing.....but I want to come clean about it.....forgive me please........On my way home I saw this young gorgeous looking, buxom blonde on the side of the road, struggling to jack her car up to change a flat tyre. Naturally, I felt obliged to offer her some assistance. It wasn't long before the job was done and the spare wheel fitted. However, just as I was about to bid farewell, she invited me back to her place for a thank you cup and coffee and biscuits. How could I say no ?  Regretfully, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed making passionate love the whole evening, getting into positions I once thought were impossible. The sex was magnificent.....but I am so sorry..... I allowed my inner demons to take control. I beg for your forgiveness....."
Bigot's wife looked at him long and hard before a flicker of a smile crossed her face.
" Thank God for that....Thank God....because if I thought for a minute you had been playing bridge....then all hell would have broken loose ! "