Thursday 2 January 2014

BIGOT-JOHNSON'S SUPERB STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE ON SELECTING PLAYERS FOR NATIONAL TEAMS.....


  1. Look up the country's richest people and compile an extensive list
  2. Draw up another list from recent regional events where sponsors did reasonably well with their expert partners and/or team mates
  3. Look to see if successful sponsors are also mentioned in the rich list
  4. Draw up a shortlist of desirable candidates who fit the bill on both counts
  5. Scan through this shortlist ,  eliminating pairs or teams which involve experts who are thoroughly disliked , or who have a track record of being awkward or difficult to manage
  6. At long last you have a final list that needs to be trimmed down a little bit more  
  7. Leak information to well connected gossip mongers , with exceptionally loose tongues , that certain pairs/teams are in the running for selection.
  8. Contact the chosen sponsors to put them fully into the picture
  9. Await for transfers of money going into the selectors' personal off-shore bank accounts
  10. Determine which sponsors have been the most generous , and on the basis of one's sums announce the team to now represent your country
  11. Inform all the unlucky players that the decisions were ultimately made  by taking into account which pairs were most likely to develop into world beaters 
  12. Announce to the press how difficult and painful the whole selection process was for all concerned             

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