NEWSFLASH : SURVEY RESULTS THROWS UP AMAZING COINCIDENCES AT THE COINCIDENCE BRIDGE CLUB.....
Survey result after survey result kept producing answers of 2%. This almost magical number appeared on every key statistic following a detailed analysis of the data. The following results demonstrate these amazing coincidences , which all seem to suggest that whoever named this club had a real vision of what these surveys results were going to produce.
1. 2% represented the undesirable element within the membership , which the other 98% were desperate to see turfed out
2. The club's top players represented just 2% of the total membership who as a close-knit elite always elected to pair up, or team up, with each other in all club competitions
3. Only 2% of all the players had warm kind words to describe their partners
4. Close scrutiny of players at the table revealed 2% as the only ones who didn't resort to soft cheating , coffee-housing or other unethical tactics to improve their chances of getting a good board
5. Every year to date membership numbers dropped by 2%
6. 2% represents the small group of members who are prepared to put something back into the club, by means of donations , fund raising activities , unpaid work behind the scenes and carrying out committee member responsibilities
7. Just 2% of the silverware went to pairs /teams which were made up of unrated players, who managed to defy the odds even in some non-handicapped competitions
8. Only 2% of the players surveyed admitted to ever reading the club's constitution and regulations , committee minutes and the orange book
9. Of those who knew the orange book rules , only 2% steadfastly refused to use their knowledge to seek favourable TD rulings against those guilty of harmless, innocent , and unintentional mistakes
10. The proportion of players who took the time and effort to read their opponents' system cards was a very disappointing 2% , choosing instead to ask time-wasting questions on each and every board regarding conventional bids used against them