A BRIDGE WORLD GONE MAD........ A very very nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson
( Not so long ago , locked inside a closed room , a committee of ill-repute reached a totally incomprehensible decision , which to the outside world beggared all belief. The following
extract is based on a secret recording of what took place at that meeting. )
Chairman : Well, what's next up on the agenda ?
Secretary : The new competition which will be advertised as a " memorial event ".....
Committee member : Is whose name ?
Secretary : Well , private discussions have been taking place between myself , the chairman ,
vice-chairman and treasurer...... only to arrive at one possible nomination....
Committee member : And who is that ?
Secretary : Lana " Cooking's my game " Stevenson
Committee member : What !.....have you all gone completely mad....the woman is a self-confessed cheat....who has cheated her way to winning several prestigious trophies.....none of which she ever intends to hand back......trophies which no one seems prepared or willing to take off her
Secretary : Ah ...but she's still a likeable person who has been a loyal member of this club for many many years
Committee member : Hold on....you mustn't lose sight of the fact that she's a filthy , low down , dishonourable cheat......and so why in God's name didn't you name someone else ?
Secretary : Listen you....the club officers know best.....why the name on a memorial trophy must be a person ( dead or alive ) who everyone knows and HAS A MEMORY OF.....how on earth can a memorial event be named after someone who has never won a thing , a non-entity , a faceless anonymous individual.....because let's get real here LANA IS A LEGEND
Committee member : But the woman's a cheat.......and ought to be shot..... not revered. You're all scared to do the right thing ....you spineless , gutless, miserable sinners
Chairman : How dare you insinuate that we are scared of this woman.....or have misplaced loyalties towards her.....I'll have you know that as long serving members on this committee ....with vast experience of climbing up greasy poles , cuddling up to the rich and powerful , operating from inside the pockets of others , taking back-handers and bribes , and feathering our own nests.....we know what's right
Committee member : Oh I'm beginning to understand now from where you are coming from....
Chairman : That's good ....and perhaps by taking this bulging brown paper envelop home, your understanding will be that much greater ....
Committee member : Indeed it will.....indeed it will