THE IDIOT'S GUIDE ON HOW TO BEAT THE EXPERTS ....by Bigot-Johnson

PASS ON EVERY HAND NO MATTER WHAT !
Where you will gain :
1. If the HCPs are evenly divided then (a) you will certainly lose out in a competitive auction, and (b) fail to make the part score you were pushed into. By avoiding a minus score there is every chance of picking up some match points.
2. If and when you are blessed with the majority of HCPs then you will feel compelled to bid to game or slam. Given that the experts all always likely to restrict your tricks to a minimum for a well below average score , you will beat pairs who fail to make their contracts simply by passing out the hand. 
3. If the experts are not provided with any information about where your HCPs might be , they have less to go on when they bid their way to slim games and frisky slams. Although in defence you might not find partner's suit or make a killing lead, the opponents might not make the right decisions, giving you in the process some unexpected match points.

Where you will lose :
1. By missing rock solid contracts, games and slams, you might well be doomed to a bad score.  Nevertheless against experts ' slick defence please recognise that being in these unbeatable contracts ,  the chances of getting gift overtricks are nil, and so what does it matter if a bottom just replaces a near bottom.
2. Your defence ( see point 3 above ) will be very hit and miss, with nothing to go on other than the opponents' bidding. Consequently , any inferior leads or switches may hand the opponents the contract , plus welcome overtricks. However, since their superior declarer play was always likely to hand them a top, you might only lose out on rare occasions.
3. You will miss out on bidding hands on whch the layout and bidding favours you in every respect. Yet would you seize these opportunities provided by such good fortune ?  I very much doubt it , and so once again it's will only be the few rare occasions  that you inflict upon yourself an outright bottom.

So the underlying logic of this strategy is as follows. Against experts should you try to play sensibly , you will be slaughtered by their superior bidding and defence , and destined to notch up a string of galactic bottoms. By electing to pass on hands every time you encounter the experts , you will without doubt sneak home a few surprise results , especially on pass out auctions. Indeed , by scoring a few averages , or  even below averages , these results will certainly put you ahead of all the real idiots , who are foolish enough to bid their hands against such formidable opponents.