BRIDGE: THE ART OF COMMUNICATION........( By Bridgemeister Gibson ) The purpose behind any bidding sequence is to communicate information about your hand across to partner....and to receive information back. In other words, each bid should carry a particular message or , as is some cases, the bid chosen should have a precise meaning. So here is a truly marvellous example of a bidding sequence, where the precise meaning of each bid has been recorded and verified:

• 1H - p - 1S - p ( 1H = I have hearts : 1S = I have spades )
• 2H - p - 2S - p ( 2H = I have long hearts and no spade fit : 2S = I have long spades and no heart fit )
• 3H - p - 3S - p ( 3H = Get a grip, partner. When a misfit comes to light, it's your duty to shut up. Now for heaven's sake let me play in 3 hearts : 3S = Are you off your head ? I've told you once, and so I'll tell you again, the contract will play much better in spades. )
• 4H - p - 4S - p ( 4H = How many times do I have to tell you, I've umpteen hearts, but no bloody spades whatsoever : 4S = I don't give a damn if you're void in my suit, my spades have got to be better than your hearts ! )
• 5H - p - 5S - p ( 5H = If you bid that bloody spade suit again, I'll break every bone in your body : 5S = When will you learn to shut up, and trust your partner.... you stupid moron ! )
• 6H - p - 6S - D ( 6H = You've gone and done it now. This is war. and I mean business. Our partnership is as good as dead : 6S = No way am I going to let you play in hearts, because you really have pissed me off good and proper, with your reckless and undisciplined bidding. )
• RD - p - 7H - D ( Redouble = Now, I just want you to suffer. So here's hoping you go off at least 6 for a whacking great penalty : 7H = I know your game you nasty piece of work. So here, have your heart contract and I hope you get crucified with it )
• 7S - D - 7NT - D ( 7S = I too can play that game, you evil bastard. And since you so desperately wanted to play in spades...then go ahead sucker.... and do so. Moreover, I'm going to redouble again just to make you squirm even more in pain. 7NT = I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of seeing me go down in my suit. I don't give a fig if I fail to make a single trick whatsoever in no trumps.
• RD - p - P !! - p ( Redouble = I'm doing exactly what I promised. I'm determined to punish you for once and for all, you tosser ! : Pass with malice aforethought = When this hand is over I suggest you run for your dear dear life......because a very slow and agonising death is what I have in store for you ! )