DR. JOHN'S CASE NOTES....................................................................... Bridge players never fail to fascinate me with their endless afflictions and disorders, all of which are attributable to the game of bridge itself. Whenever a normal person takes up this game, he or she ceases to be normal. Indeed, there are so many psychological and behavioural disorders yet to be diagnosed and labelled, I still have a life-time of work ahead of me. Indeed, I am just on the verge of completing a book dedicated solely to medico-bridge terminology, and there are two late entries I want to share with you now. Both reflect the onset of illogical and irrational thinking that can quickly overtake players whenever they sit down to play bridge.

• Lurkahemia : A debilitating psychological disorder which distorts the logical thinking of the sufferer. Despite being dealt a very biddable hand, the victim will elect to remain silent during the first round of the auction, firmly believing that a "trap pass" is going to yield a profitable return, especially if opponents enter the bidding, or continue to bid up. Often hands are passed out with easy part scores or games their way being missed. Opponents, surprisingly and gratefully, find themselves in makeable part-scores having not been pushed to bid to a higher level. If two sufferers should ever have the misfortune to form a partnership, both are likely to pass on their 16 HCP hands, with the inevitable consequence that even slam hands can be passed out. Yet perversely, they will enter a competitive auction on absolute tat, decisions which only fools and lunatics would make. The fact that they get doubled for embarrassingly large penalties only goes to reinforce the absurd notion that their chance to inflict the same punishment will come later........when they make another clever and cunning trap pass !
• Oppophobia : An all too common condition found in players who are in awe of, or completely overwhelmed by, the reputation and status of the opposition. This desire to give them excessive respect leads sufferers to develop a whole raft of irrational fears. They either bail out of the bidding despite having the majority of HCPs, or refuse to double even when the opponents have clearly over-stepped the mark. In defence, the fear factor talks them out of making simple, straightforward, logical, contract-beating decisions, replacing them instead with absurd plays that gift-wrap presents to the opponents. This self-induced form of insanity results in victims taking a jaundiced view on everything. One example which comes to mind was when the bidding on a combined 32 points came to a sudden halt at 2NT, because victims with this disorder believed their talented opponents would find a way of defeating 3NT. So when the scoresheet revealed another galactic bottom, this merely reinforced the notion that top players deserve even more respect than before.