Wednesday, 5 October 2011

HOW TO RECEIVE YET ANOTHER TROPHY WITH MODESTY, HUMILITY AND DIGNITY................. ( Article by Dr. Sigmund T. Schukelgruber )
All to often its the same smiling, smug ridden, faces that stand proud on the victory rostrum, beaming with delight as they are handed yet another trophy to add to their obscenely vast collection. In my opinion, these players need a sharp lesson or two in humility, which I am only too happy to give.
Winning at bridge is all to easy if you are a top player partnering a person of your own standing and ability, especially when the rest of the field is made of a mediocre and average bunnies. Winning for them is simply a matter of turning up, but do they acknowledge this gulf in class and overwhelming superiority. Not a chance.
It's all smiles, constant laughing and self-congratulations over the many coups, deceptions and traps they successfully pulled off against these unsuspecting rabbits.
So here is my 8 point plan on how to receive a trophy with uncharacteristic humbleness and dignity :
1. Look genuinely surprised when it is announced you've come in first
2. Surpress your desire to be annoying smug
3. Attempt to look extremely embarrassed by this latest success
4. Be surprisingly gracious by saying " luck was really on our side " .....even if it wasn't
5. Offer feigned praise to the gallant runners up, who on any handicapping system would have beaten you out of sight
6. Avoid the temptation to rub in the fact that victory was achieved despite dozens of uncharacteristic and stupid errors , made by both you and your partner
7. Praise your partner for being the rock , even though he may have played like a jerk
8. Leave the venue by the back door immediately after the award ceremony has finished

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