Tuesday, 1 April 2014


Bigot-Johnson : Chairman
Very dysfunctional and dangerously disturbed. Claims to be a good player but nearly all his good boards are purely down to his diabolical and unethical antics at the table paying off. As a devoted admirer of Sir Francis Dashwood , Bigot has made it his life-time ambition to make the Slaughter House a modern day version of the infamous Hellfire Club. 
Ronnie : Vice-chairman
Extremely efficient in purging the club of unsuitable and undesirable law abiding members. Ronnie was the man responsible for redrafting and condensing the Club's constitution and regulations down to just 4 lines , which in effect give the committee carte blanche powers to do what it wants. At present he is on another major project setting up a sub-committee hit squad to carry out the club's dirty work off premises. Long departed critics repeatedly accused him of using mafia style tactics to prompt members to keep their mouths shut at all times. Rumours of him having a concrete mixer in the club's basement have yet to be scotched. 
Reggie : Secretary
Not all there and has a serious problem with anger management. Extremely illiterate and backward in thinking,. With Bigot abolishing the need for (a) taking and publishing minutes , (b) providing reports and house-keeping records and (c) keeping important documents which could contain incriminating evidence, Ronnie's limitations were deemed to be of no significance. His simple philosophy with regards to any major problems the club might encounter was " they will all blow away " or  " the people responsible for these problems will be blown away ". 
Freddie Flywheel : Treasurer      
Having spent many years inside prison for corporate fraud , insider trading , embezzlement , and boiler room scams , Freddie has proved himself to be a wizard when it comes to figures and false accounting. The moment he was voted in as treasurer , on the back of proxy voting set up by Reggie , the committee has successfully syphoned off nearly all the club's liquid assets without any of the ordinary members being the wiser. A recently published article of his " How to turn a failed business into a highly profitable one at the stroke of a pen " has made him a star with the city institutions and the corporate banks.  
" Toxic " Ted Bateman :  Chief Tournament Director
A Devil sent replacement for the former CTD , who in mysterious circumstances went down to the basement and was never seen again. In fact he disappeared without a trace......... of wet cement anywhere. A former rigger and card sharp ,  he was asked by the Chairman to make up the boards for all the club's competitions, and to make sure that as his partner they seized every chance of scooping all the trophies and prize money on offer. At present he is currently replaced the EBU rule book with one of his own , which turns out to be no longer than half a page. In short all club directors ( appointed and vetted by him and Ronnie ) are to make discretionary rulings only , as they see fit. If and when players dare to call over them over  to a table , most rulings will usually be based on an established pecking order of importance and status , but directors may exercise their discretion towards favouring those who dig deepest into their wallets.  

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