BIGOT DROPS AN EVEN BIGGER BOLLOCK
( Another nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson )
Bigot was on trial for murder of Peregrin Pantopod . There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. For once Bigot elected to hire a top class lawyer in order to escape justice. Things were not going too well at the trial with Ronnie’s evidence to establish an alibi having been shot to pieces. In the defence's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that Bigot might well be convicted, resorted to a devious but highly successful courtroom coup.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute Peregrin Pantopod, the person presumed dead in this case, will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, that statement had no substance or conviction to it at all. I just made up it up to prove a point. Nevertheless, you all looked on with anticipation being quite prepared to believe in its truth. I therefore put to you that lurking within your minds there is in fact a reasonable doubt as to whether Peregrin is dead, and whether he was killed . Therefore, I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
" What the blue blazes is that verdict all about ! " screamed the lawyer. "Surely To God you must have had some doubt...... I saw all of you stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied, "Oh yes, we all looked, but your client Bigot-Johnson didn't."