SIGNALLING FAILURES........ ( Short article by Bridgemeister Gibson )

Signalling information and commands to partner involves a declared system understanding through the choice of discards ,  the chosen rank of the first card played , or the carefully selected order of cards when following to , or leading out , a suit.  However , no signalling system is perfect , and players inevitably succumb to moments of tiredness , lapses of concentration and mechanical mistakes, causing the wrong signals to be sent out. 
However , unethical players will adopt additional signalling methods to bolster their chances of getting the right messages across. These usually involve the use of body language and facial expressions to convey ,  for instance ,  messages of approval ( please continue that suit partner ) and disapproval ( please switch to another suit ).  Yet here too the signalling failures can occur , as the following nearly true stories seem to illustrate. 

1. Overheard at a table when yet another poor score was recorded :  " Partner.....my looking daggers at you was not an instruction to switch suit......just merely an indication about what's in store for you when I get you outside ! "

2. During the play of a hand a despondent looking East gave a sarcastic reply to his partner's question about his misleading discard : " That discard of mine wasn't calling for anything.....I played it out of total boredom "

3. After a complete cock up in the defence a puzzled North was quick to query his partner's facial expression :  " Why did you grin when I switched to the wrong suit ? "
South coldly looked at him for several seconds , and then replied : " You numpty... that wasn't a grin.....it was a venomous sneer "

4. When an opposition slam was allowed to make because East failed to switch to a suit which 
his partner could ruff , he couldn't stop himself from asking : " Partner.....I could see the black look on your face , but how was I to know to know you were calling for a spade....and not a club ? ". The reply was swift and to the point : " The look I gave you was a dirty one... which in my book carries the obvious connotation of demanding a spade ! "

5. In the auction East opened a gambling 3 no trumps, but the opponents bought the contract in 4 hearts. Three times partner was on lead , but failed to lead his partner's suit. On each occasion East grimaced , squirming in his seat in absolute agony. When the hand was over , West found himself immediately jumped upon by a deranged madman : " Partner , I could kill you.....I had AKQ in diamonds to cash ? " 
Unruffled and unconcerned , West calmly replied : " Oh , I thought you were upset over the fact I had a void in your suit "