Sunday 13 September 2009

BIGOT-JOHNSON HERE: IS THE EBU PROMOTIONS LADDER A TOTAL NONSENSE OR WHAT ?.....................

As I have already said in one of my earlier posts, moving up through the EBU master point promotions means only one thing: putting your hands in your pocket and shelling out some serious money. Really good players have no such problem. By instinctively gravitating towards one another, they quickly form themselves into formidable pairs and teams. For them reaching the summit of grandmasterdom takes no time at all. But what about all the other good players who found themselves marooned with no-hopers ? Whatever rung they may be stuck on will certainly under-reflect the level of ability and skill they possess. The whole system is flawed for a multitude of reasons, but the fact that promotions are effectively achieved through high level attendance rather than top ten finishes ....for me....really takes the biscuit. So what is my solution to this thorny problem of player ratings? Self-assessment of course. We all know deep down how good or bad we are. We all know who we can beat and who we can't on a regular basis. We all know where are likely to come, in club or outside events, and whether we are carrying others, or whether others are carrying us. So let's be honest and attach a rating to ourselves, which should if accurate meet with the nodding approval of those around us. So allow me to put forward the following list of descriptors merely as suggestions. However, if you feel none of them seem apt or appropriate at defining your status as a player, then the onus is on you to find your own:

  • Band 1: grand wizard, genius, wizard, magician, mega star, devil-to-play-against, giant, gifted and experienced
  • Band 2: damn clever, too damn clever-by-half, annoyingly good, gifted but with a bit more to learn, nifty, slick, awkward customer, really good when sober
  • Band 3: solid, wildly variable, flashy on occasions, not to be under-estimated, good on a good day, capable of bunny-bashing, fading star
  • Band 4: variable, steady, could be good but lacking discipline, loose cannon, has potential but no ambition or commitment, on the way up
  • Band 5: lunatic, complete lunatic, totally unconcerned, average isn't the word, wooden-top, far too erratic, error prone, limitations outweigh strengths
  • Band 6: beginner, complete beginner, clueless, hopelesssly clueless bumbledogs, not wanting to learn, memory like a sieve, only there to make the numbers up

And which label would I attach to myself ?...............Possibly, too damn clever for my own good... with a touch of the loose cannon. For as you well know, I am one of those destined to be the victim of the dark forces that constantly conspire against me, where it has been decreed that clueless bumbledogs are to be my nemisis.

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