Tuesday 5 April 2011

BIGOT'S ACADEMY CLASS GETS DOWN TO BUSINESS.......
" Now listen up you lot........I intend to teach you winning bridge.......which means ruthlessly exploiting your opponents ignorance of the game. You must develop and use whatever tactics are necessary to give you that all important competitive advantage . One way this can be done is by employing the Beauchief Coup, which utilises the use and non-use of the stop card in a spectacular and highly inventive way.
Let's for instance take the Gerber 4C convention. This occasionally crops up when a player with a big hand hears his partner open 1NT. Bidding 4C directly is always regarded as a simple straightforward Ace asking enquiry bid. But what if responder has a weak hand with nothing to offer other than length in clubs. What can he do ?
Well, the Beauchief Coup provides the perfect solution. When you want to use the 4C bid as Gerber, pull out a stop card first. But when you what it to mean a pre-emtive barrage bid in clubs.... just bid 4C without the stop card.
On hearing all this, one of Bigot's ethically minded students was not only unconvinced but very concerned . Eventually, he plucked up the courage to challenge Bigot on the legality of this dubious manoeuvre.
" I'm not sure the rules allow this ? "
Bigot did not take kindly to what he was hearing. He expected students to follow his rules and not a load of poxy ones in some little red, orange, yellow books, which clever dick, know-it-all players constantly quote whenever opponents commit even the smallest transgressions .
" So what..... if there are some lardy da, namby pampy, up-their-own-arses, pompous, pious, rule abiding zealots out there, who see the Beauchief Coup as a form of cheating.......then there are others who would describe it as a legitimate form of underhand bidding..... that is of couse......... until someone who really is in the know ..... says otherwise. Indeed, your chances of getting away with it against bunnies and bumbledogs are tremendously high. Now take it from me ......you tosser..... that this coup ( along with with many others involving the clever use and non-use of stop cards ) will give you such a huge competitive advantage over the the field...... success can almost be guaranteed . So get out there and use it in precisely the same way, as this marvellous inventor from Beauchief suggested . "

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