Monday, 15 January 2018


( This short extract is taken from a undercover recording of their recent strategic planning
  meeting )  

- We could be up shit creek if we are not careful
- Hell's bells.....we're certainly getting a whole load of bad press
- Shocking
- Outrageous
- And all we're trying to do is to come up with effective parking solutions to tackle the
  problem of excess demand over supply of precious parking spaces
- An economic reality which we mercilessly exploit
- But that objective goes without saying
- Yes.....the motorists' lobby is gaining so much momentum Parliament has begun to sit
  up and listen
- There's a real risk that our shameful line of business could be regulated by legislation
- It is shameful
- Shameful indeed
- What we need to do is demonstrate to the public at large.....and politicians.....that the traffic
  space maximisation objective is of such importance and benefit to the motoring 
  community , the imposition of ludicrously high penalty charges is absolutely necessary to
  deter motorists from undermining our noble efforts
- And how do we go about achieving that ?
- By proving beyond all doubt that any infringement no matter how small dramatically 
  hampers our valiant efforts to manage car parks with efficiency and effectiveness for
  the benefit of all those motorists desperately seeking available spaces ......
- How ?
- By being more cunning and deceptive than ever before.....but mainly by lying through our 
  back teeth 
- Right then ....let's all agree on that
- Yes
- Yes
- So what's next on the agenda ?
A proposal to narrow the parking bays .....
Don't tell me.....this creates more bays and even more ticket revenue
- No that extra source of income is chicken feed.....the money making idea behind this 
  racket is to ensure that open door space is so tight, many returning  fat bellied drivers  
  wont be able to get back into their cars to drive off. The inevitable delays will lead to many
  more PCNs being issued for overstays. And what's even better is that many drivers will 
  park up encroaching onto the next bay , where we can really shaft them for double parking.
- Brilliant.....truly brilliant
- But hold on.....why not make the parking bays shorter as well. Most cars these days are
  the size of tanks. So by hiding the condition on our signage boards " cars must be parked
  inside the bay's boundary lines "'s guaranteed that we will be dishing out tens of 
  thousands of PNC's...... because of the near impossibility of the task
- Now that's what I call a perfect scam
- Like shooting fish in a barrel 


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