Sunday 29 September 2013

NEWSFLASH : SHENANIGANS AT THE 666 SHENANIGANS BRIDGE CLUB

Within months of the club's inauguration many members were shocked to find rather unpleasant changes taking place to the Friday night duplicate bridge sessions.
Bigot-Johnson had previously convened an EGM which the majority of members had no knowledge about, having failed to see the posted details about it on the club's notice board. The one-inch-by one-inch poster was in a print so small , only those members in possession of powerful magnifying glasses had any chance of reading its content.
Nevertheless , rumours broke out about Bigot's sharp practice and several of his fiercest adversaries turned up to the meeting , ready to scupper any of his nefarious plans. First item up on the agenda was a Bigot-Johnson proposal to have a bondage bridge night on Fridays , which would involve errant and inept partners being subjected to all manner of punishments and tortures.
Despite having all his lackeys ready to vote the proposal  through , the voting on the floor appeared evenly divided : 16 for, 17 against. However , the proposal got the nod when the eighteen " yes " proxy votes had been taken into account , giving Bigot the two-thirds majority he needed to push through this enterprising and exciting initiative.
" We demand to see where these proxy votes came from ...." screamed one of the seventeen.
" Members who couldn't get to the club " , replied Bigot.
" Name one " said a doubting Thomas.
" Albert Childs "
" But he died .....just a few ago ago.....the poor sod "
" True "
" But dead men can't vote "
" Ah ....that is correct....but Albert was asked to vote on this issue just before he passed away.....and as far as the constitution goes......he still remains a paid up member until the end of the calendar year..."
" This is an outrage......dead men can't make proxy votes "
" May be so....but Albert was alive when he made it.....and we should all respect a dead man's wishes.....even heartless bastards like you ...."
And so the evening went on with committee backed proposals going through on the support of these 18 proxy voters. This of course turned out to real triumph for the chairman Bigot-Johnson , a self-proclaimed deviant, shyster and scoundrel. 

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