NEWSFLASH : BIGOT-JOHNSON TAKES OVER ANOTHER BRIDGE CLUB RENAMING IT "THE 666 SHENANIGANS BC ".......
( We , mentioning no names for fear of pending lawsuits , have uncovered the initial constitution of The 666 Shenanigans BC , which can be seen below. )
Article 1. Name
The name of this unincorporated association shall be The 666 Shenanigans Bridge Club , hereinafter referred to Shenanigans.
Article 2. Mission
Shenanigans shall be compromised of society's misfits , odd bods, undesirables , dodgy characters and reckless fun lovers with a warped desire and motivation to participate in a variety of covert , underhand and highly immoral activities including , but by no means limited to, the cheating, the bullying, and the coffee-housing that regularly goes on at the bridge tables.
Article 3. Membership
Shenanigans shall maintain a minimum of 12 members , of which one-third must have shady and rather dubious past lives. Membership however is therefore open to anyone, but those with credentials of dishonesty, deception and cunning are more than welcome. For a year's membership the cost is £30, but subsequent renewals will always be at the discretion of the executive committee. However, membership rights can only be obtained by an upfront payment of £4030, of which £4000 will be returned at the end of the year, providing sufficient funds are still left in club's bank account.
Article 4. Club rules
Shenanigans acknowledges and will abide by its own constitution rules , which at this present moment of time are being mulled over by the President-For-Life, Bigot-Johnson. Irrespective of what he posts on the notice board, the executive committee under his astute stewardship and direct leadership will be fully empowered to change the rules , simply at the drop of a hat or the whim of its esteemed leader.
Article 5 : Duties to be carried out by all executive members
( a ) to attend only the meetings they have been told to attend
( b ) to vote as instructed
( c ) to ratify retrospectively changes to rules introduced by the impetuous and power
( d ) to honour the Oath of Allegiance , and to keep quiet about all secret back-handers
( e ) to submit to the President all the names and addresses of family and friends
( f ) to pay lip service to the bogus constitution that will stay posted on the notice board
( g ) to assist in the compilation of sterile, highly sanitised minutes of the meetings , which will be either full of inventive crap of a bland , meaningless , and harmless nature , or non-incriminating facts and figures.
Article 6 : Duties of the President
( a ) to obtain and maintain total control of all the club's financial affairs
( b ) to further develop and enhance nepotism and despotism within the club
( c ) to bring gambling and rubber bridge back to the forefront of card playing activities
( d ) to collaborate and link up with The Slaughter House BC for major functions , shindigs ,
parties , orgies and satanic rituals
( e ) to organise expensive bridge holidays for himself, his family and selected members of
the executive committee
( f ) to install surveillance cameras and gadgets in all parts of the club premises
( g ) to be responsible for implementing all cover-ups , and for ensuring that all
incriminating evidence is destroyed before any law enforcement agencies starts asking
( h ) to keep ordinary members , and all nosey, interferingy outsiders , completely in the dark
Article 7 : Executive elections
Except for the President all executive positions will be up for re-election after each year in office. These elections will take place on an unadvertised day , when those expected to turn up will be invitees , family, friends and/or easily bribed voters. Proxy voting may be allowed in certain emergency situations to avoid the risk of an undesirable outcome.
Article 8 : Meetings
These will be held in secret , usually by the chosen few who happen to meet up in dark corridors and corners. A meeting quorum need only consist of two executive officers , one of which must be the President , or someone acting as his mule.
Article 9 : Amendments
This constitution will make do as the loose operating basis of Shenanigans. No amendment can be carried out , unless it has the President's approval. In cases where the President himself rings the changes, no initial reference to the executive committee or the membership is needed.
Article 10 : Dissolution
The Club automatically ceases to exist the moment the roof caves in , and the President is in flight , being compelled to change his identity and go underground. Members need not concern themselves about recovery of subscription money , or any proprietary financial interests they may have in the assets of the club , since these will have all been swiftly transferred into one of the President's many secret off-shore accounts.