THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY.................................

• Ace : one of the chosen few you would love to partner
• Red : the colour most players see during table altercations
• Pin : a small metal object you stick into the personalised voodoo dolls of the game's administrators
• Movement : something irritable bowel players hate to be caught out by
• Menace : an over used but very apt term to descibe Howard Bigot-Johnson
• Run : the way that some players have to move on foot towards the toilet, after a sudden movement has been announced
• Stiff : the sensation a male member might experience when a young attractive lady player comes to his table
• Frigid : the most common characteristic of young attractive female players