Yes, Bigot-Johnson has big plans. As non-playing captain he has assembled a team of card sharps renown for scaring the living daylights out of all those they encounter, just through their reputation alone.
Already the team has triumphed at major events all over the UK, and now they are ready to take on the world's best.
These players, all former long-stay residents in her majesty's top-rated establishments, have shown themselves to possess many special talents, such as :
- possessing excellent memories
- getting their own back on opponents
- wielding " the axe " in very effective ways
- using intimidating bids/tactics
- silencing their opponents....often permanently
- winning arguments with TD's, without exception
- ruthless exploitation of opponents' weaknesses
- practising deception on a grand scale
- knowing exactly what to do with " stiffs "
- seeing out the successful completion of " contracts "
Indeed, this team has taken the UK bridge world by storm. These are players who are extremely difficult to confront.....but players who are always happy to leave you with their calling cards.
So let's now introduce to the team : Freddie Flick-knife Forbes, Jimmy The Viper Slitheroe, Ivor Machete Johnson, Larry Black Spot Pew, Danny Slow Death Waters, Billy Back Stabber Bowles, Sammy The Shafter Smith, Ronny Mad Dog Maddox, and Johnny Mean Eye Biggs.
So if there's any team out there who believe they are good enough to take on Bigot's Boys , then it might be wise as a precautionary measure to first check out and renew their life-insurance policies. before sending out any invitations.