Saturday, 8 May 2010

BIGOT GOES BALLISTIC AGAIN...................... ( Article by Johnny Supremo )
Although Bigot has a deep hatred of Percy Pantopod, he has also come to regard me as his nemisis. Whenever he encounters me at the table, he convinces himself that I'm about to put one over him......... no matter what measures, tactics and strategies he might choose to employ. In his world of magical thinking, I can not be beaten.
Why just the other night, we met up for two boards during a regular duplicate. The first one, Bigot was a tad unlucky to get a below average score, but on the second board two remarkable things happened. The hand was as follows: I held J98....1098xxx......x....J107 opposite my partner's Axx.....(void)....AJxxxx......AKxx.
First off was the auction itself. Bigot's partner, sitting West, opened the bidding with a weak 2 hearts on; xxx....KQJxx....Q....Q654, which led to this unbeleivable sequence of calls: 3D, Double ( penalty ), Pass, Pass, Redouble ( help ), Pass, 3H, Pass, Pass, Double ( penalty ), Pass, Pass, Redouble ( help ), Pass, 3S, Pass, Pass, Double ( penalty ), Pass, Pass, Redouble ( help ), Pass, Pass, Pass ( no where to go ). And so it took 15 bids to move from 2H to 3S, and 9 more bids after that to end the auction on 3S, albeit redoubled. Three times Bigot doubled for penalties, and 3 times North put in a redouble for help. As for me I was up against it having to make 9 tricks, having only 2 HCPs only, and a very ropey 3 card trump suit . Bigot of course was ready to pounce with his KQ10x...Ax....K1098x.....98, convinced that he and his partner held the majority of trumps.
But the really remarkable thing was the outcome. West failed to lead a trump at trick one. What possessed him to lead the King of hearts instead, I do not know......but it certainly caused Bigot to become possessed. All I could do still was set about making the best of a bad job. I ruffed in dummy, cashed two top clubs, and Ace of diamonds. Next came a diamond ruff in hand, but when West discarded I knew for sure there was a God out there on my side . A second heart was ruffed in dummy, and another diamond was ruffed in hand ( unmolested ). A third heart was ruffed in dummy with the Ace ( Bigot by now was going ape shit ), and another diamond from dummy was ruffed with my last trump. Contract made....producing a very fortuitous +960 for an unexpected and undisputed top.
Bigot of course went so ballistic, it took several members to hold him down before powerful sedatives could be injected into his buttock.

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