BRIDGE PLAYER'S LAMENT..................... ( A literary masterpiece discovered By Bridgemeister Gibson inside an old and rare second-hand bridge book, he bought at a recent car boot sale )

I never cry

I never nag

I never shout

I never brag

I never cheat

I never wail

I'm happy to lose

I'm happy to fail

I never moan

I never bite

I never niggle

I never fight

I never snarl

I never snap

Hey what I've just said

Is a whole load of crap

Because when I play bridge

I become a changed man

And all these good virtues

Go straight down the pan