NEWSFLASH : IN CHICAGO, BIGOT'S BOYS BLOW AWAY ANOTHER TOP USA TEAM ........... ( Report by Pun )

With most of the original players still recovering from their ordeal in Boston hospital, the USA selectors decided to put out a much stronger team this time. Well, something had to be done to repair their international reputation, and restore national pride.

TV networks had arrived from all over America to televise live the whole match, clearly expecting something sensational to happen. How right they were. In the early stages, however, the match was a cagey nip and tuck affair, but yet again it was the visitors who took the initiative, by making that first bold thrust to open up a sizeable gap. And the man responsible for this was none other than Freddie " Flick-knife " Forbes. He was sharp....razor sharp......seemingly a cut or two above the rest. He had all the attributes of a man at the top of his game: a cutting-edge bidding system, clinical precision in both thought and deed, and an ability to scythe down opponents with very pointed and barbed comments.

Even when he made a few stabs at bidding dodgy-looking slams on wafer thin values, he always managed to pull them off. By dominating the bidding , he was hell bent on securing a huge slice of the declarer play. But what shocked the audience most was his supreme skill at severing the communication between his opponents. Ironically, whenever a USA player overbid his hand, he inevitably fell victim to particularly nasty breaks and trump splits.

However, one curious feature of the match was that every time USA players went to visit the toilet, the weak-bladdered Billy " Back-stabber " Bowles often went with them. Then, after returning to their tables, looking both flushed and fearful, these same American players then proceeded to play like rabbits, as though they had simply gone to pieces.

So as the match wore on, the USA team was systematically being torn to shreds. Well before the finish confidence, belief and life itself had slowly, but surely, drained away from each of the players. For the viewing American public it was too much to bear.....a bleeding shame in fact.

The moment victory for The Boys was announced, the odds on them going through the tour undefeated were dramatically slashed. Bigot-Johnson of course was ecstatic, and as he went up to collect the memorial trophy he whispered across to one reporter : " I'll let you into a little secret.....Freddie, you know, is a disciple of the greatest bridge book ever written......the rarely known, but highly rated, How to carve up the opposition by Butch Hering.......it's a killer. "