- Seat - the target area of a well aimed kick , demonstrating to great effect the extreme disapproval of partner's play
- Pack - a term used to describe predatory players of an unforgiving nature , who team up together in pursuit of easy prey
- Cross - what one has to bear when required to partner a numpty
- Enter ( dummy ) - to have it off with a life-size inflatable bridge player
- Force - what a fat bastard uses to get to the front of the buffet queue
- Go down - a term used in conjunction with " on one's knees " to beg forgiveness for being so inept at bridge
- Open room - the place where one is most likely to find players bidding and making cold contracts
- Closed room - the place where the elite like to play to the exclusion of the riff raff
- Kick back - what any sensible red blooded player will do when provoked by an opponent
- Re-entry - a common occurrence when players are ( a) easily aroused , ( b) keen to score again , and ( c) blessed with unbelievable stamina
- Unmakeable - a term used to label an attractive young female player , who has no interest whatsoever in sex. Other adjectives often used to describe such a cold fish include impenetrable , inscrutable and insurmountable
- Deuce - a useless card destined never to make a trick . The term was originally used in 1936 by a visiting french bridge player to Stockport BC, who on being dealt one hand after another with loads of twos screamed out " what the deuce is going on ? " . This rhetorical question was purely aimed at conveying his extreme displeasure over picking up such lowly cards.
A 'Must Read' blog for all motorists currently being shafted by morally bankrupt private car parking companies as well as aspiring players and addicts of the game Bridge.
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY.......
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