Bigot-Johnson Article

BIGOT-JOHNSON'S GUIDE ON HOW TO RECOGNISE A BRIDGE GEEK 

Many bridge players might give the impression of being a bridge geek but they are not. To qualify as a bridge geek,  at least fifty percent of the following character traits must be present :

1.  Male
2.  Heavily interested in bridge
3.  Displays classic autistic symptoms
4.  Can recall with alarming accuracy every hand he has ever played
5.  Always turns up to play bridge in the same shabby clothes
6.  Fascinated by the subtle complex intricacies of the game
7.  Works in the public sector
8.  A mummy's boy
9.  Only feels comfortable in the company of other bridge geeks
10. Has an abnormal appreciation for the mathematics behind bridge
11. Guilty of wearing odd socks or trousers that are far too short in the leg
12. Totally devoid of any sense of hair style and/or fashion
13.  Sex is hardly ever on his list of priorities
14.  Wet dreams occur only when recalling an exciting night at the bridge tables
15.  Only puts bridge books on his Christmas wish list 
16.  Personal hygiene habits often a cause for concern
17.  Always seen laughing at his own inane jokes
18.  Inward, poorly socialised
19.  Regarded by many as a generally educated eccentric know-all 
20.  Forever throwing tantrums when things go wrong