LAW REPORT : R v. BIGOT-JOHNSON ( & others) 2013

Yet again Bigot-Johnson was reported to the police by concerned members of the public, who were alarmed by what was going on inside the boundary walls of the Slaughter House BC. The RSPCA were also up in arms about reports of appalling neglect and cruelty shown towards friendly, harmless animals. Facing dozens of charges under the Animal Welfare Act 2007, Bigot-Johnson decided as usual to represent himself in court . A short extract from the trial's transcript can be seen below .

Prosecution counsel (CP ) : These acts of cruelty towards animals are on a scale that beggars belief
B-J : That's absolute rubbish.......the only animals I've ever set out to kill are the rats and vermin ....which regularly infest the club house premises
PC : Excuse me.....but I'm referring to rabbits
B-J : Rabbits ?
PC : Yes rabbits....those little, cuddly, soft-furry creatures with cute noses, floppy ears and fluffy bits.........which you and your cronies systematically hunt down. Why it is a well known practice in this club of yours.........for you and other top players.......to pair up....team up.....and gang up.......whenever a major competition takes place. Because let's face it .......these big fields provide plenty of opportunities for " bunny bashing "
B-J : What !
PC : You.....and your skilled assassins.....systematically trample through these fields seeking out and carving up the rabbits. Carnage that is unbearable to watch. Cruelty that borders on the barbaric. 
B-J : What !
PC : Indeed, bridge is often described as a mind sport, but at the Slaughter House you have turned the game into a blood sport !
B-J : Hold on a mo.....these so called rabbits are nothing more than a load of duffers, fools, woodentops and buffoons.......human fodder infact.....who love the opportunity to take on top players even at the risk of getting a severe bashing.
PC : So would you say then that coming up against these rabbits is like shooting fish in a  barrel ?
B-J : Yes
PC : And I take it you like kicking ass ?
B-J :  Yes.....I damn well do
PC : Well, on those frank admissions about your cruelty towards fish and donkeys,  please come clean about any other abuses ?
B-J : Stone the crows ....
PC : My God...are there more ?
B-J : I'm flogging a dead horse here
PC : Have you no compassion for any animal....... whether it be dead or alive ?
Judge : I've heard enough.....and that last remark of yours Bigot was the final straw... the one that broke my camel's back. 
B-J : Oh....
Judge : So my job now is too inflict a punishment that hits the bull's eye so to speak. But thankfully, there is more than one way to skin a cat like you.......and having you sectioned indefinitely under the Mental Health Act is my preferred choice.
B-J : Bugger...