Thursday 31 October 2013

NEWSFLASH : BIGOT-JOHNSON TO MARRY AGAIN

Rumour has it that Bigot-Johnson has found his dream woman. The Slaughter House BC reporter has been talking to Bigot's bride to be. The young attractive twenty year old oriental beauty claimed her fiancĂ© had all the qualities she wanted most in her pursuit of the ideal husband.
" He needed to be in his late sixties , with loads of money, and living in a nice house. A man who loves to play bridge every night , including weekends away. Someone with a zany taste in clothes , who loves to wear stripy T-shirts and silly hats. My perfect man must have a big conker of  a nose with a monstrously absurd black moustache underneath it. I want someone with a serious medical problem, such as a weak heart,  who I can look after and care for. But most important of all ,  a voyeuristic pervert who will get terribly over-excited at the sight of my naked body. Blokes like that are a rarity but I guess I've been very lucky ".     

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