Saturday, 24 July 2010

( For the umpteenth time Bigot-Johnson was hauled before the committee members, who were hell bent on " getting him " good and proper, irrespective of how petty his crimes might be. However, on this occasion the charge was very serious indeed, as the transcript of the shortest proceedings on record will reveal. )
Chairman : Bigot, is not a fact that you are the victim of a multiple personality disorder ?
B-J : Yes....
Chairman : And this means, of course , that you are made up of several different selves ?
B-J : I suppose so......
Chairman : Therefore, is it true to say that when you turn up to the club, you arrive with all your other selves ?
B-J : I guess so...
Chairman : And so when you take a seat at the table, all these other selves sit down with you ?
B-J : Yes....but what on earth lies behind all these questions ? I need to know what crimes, if any, I'm supposed to have committed ?
Chairman : All will be revealed in due course...............So please tell me, Bigot, what table money do you pay ?
B-J : £ 3-50
Chairman : Exactly.......therefore by your own testimony.......... you only pay for yourself and no one else ! Yet you come to this club with all your other selves.... BUT NONE OF THEM contribute anything to the table money coffers. This amounts to wilful and deliberate non-payment of club fees. By our reckoning you owe us £30 for each session you ....with your other cronies.......have turned up to play. This adds up to a total outstanding debt of £ 3,000 for the year. And up to £ 90,000 for the total time you've been a member of this club. This means Bigot..... unless we get all this money, you are banned indefinitely.
B-J : Ooops.....
Chairman : So what have you Bigot-Johnson....or any of your other selves for that to say about that ?....................
B-J ( and others ) : Bugger....bugger.....bugger......bugger......bugger

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