THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY.......................

• Ladder : an apparatus used for scaling heights, which top players like to climb up in order to " look down " on the riff raff below
• Pay-to-play : a new EBU initiative to make easy money, taking inspiration from those working in the red light light districts of every major city or town. Quick trick enthusiasts have stepped forward to thoroughly endorse this proposal.
• Bridgemate : a term of endearment often used by one player about another, especially in gay bridge clubs in and around London
• Rigid : (i) a term used to describe a contract that should always make, and (ii) a commonly used adjective to describle an inflexible member
• Stiff : an inflexible or rigid member
• Bum hand : one you use to wipe your bottom
• Bottom : what every player needs to wipe clean ( off their scorecard )
• Scorecard : a record showing how many times a player came on top