Tuesday, 23 November 2010

  • Upsurge in attendance leads to clubs shutting their doors to late arrivals
  • Slow players eager to join " Fast Play" classes
  • Rude and offensive top flight players severely disciplined by club committees
  • Top player watches partner go off in a rigid slam and laughs about it
  • Bridge governing bodies drastically reduce the number of ladder rankings
  • Green/gold points only given out now to players who actually win competitions
  • Bigot-Johnson's blog receives an award for its contribution to bridge literature
  • Players learn how to enjoy bridge despite never winning
  • Club committees finally resolve the distinction between free life membership and honorary life membership
  • Rubber bridge for money replaces duplicate bridge, as governments relax gaming laws even further
  • Top players freely volunteer their time to act as mentors and partners for improving beginners
  • Ladies triumph over men in all competitions to complete an historic whitewash
  • Club members shake off apathy, getting actively involved in helping the club
  • Top player owns up to making a mistake
  • Bigot-Johnson's posts are deluged with enthusiastic comments and generous compliments
  • TDs become redundant as players resort to resolving table disputes themselves, in a friendly and amicable way
  • Club membership applications reach unprecedented levels, as bridge governing bodies find ways of making the game far more appealing
  • Selectors for club, county, and international teams now place greater emphasis on recent performances and current form ( than on past reputation and favouritism )
  • Cheating in bridge is finally eradicated
  • All bridge players take up therapy in a last-ditch attempt to come out of " self-denial "

No comments: