AS BRIDGE PLAYERS YOU KNOW YOU'RE OVER THE HILL WHEN.....
- You realise caution over your bidding and play is the only thing you care to exercise
- You begin to suspect former partners were right after all in claiming you had no feel for the game
- Playing weekend bridge away constitutes " letting your hair down "
- The team captain is a good thirty years younger than you
- You find yourself recognising the names of all the house plants recently purchased by your club
- You start making that special please-have-sympathy-for-me groaning noise whenever you get up from your chair
- Your weight-lifting routine now only includes lifting cards from the boards
- You argue back with every partner, opponent and TD, but never accepting the fact that you could be wrong
- You complain bitterly about the " arrogant " young bridge players of today
- You discuss between hands the problems of leaking gutters and inadequate roof lagging
- You only look to join bridge clubs that have front-door parking facilities
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