Thursday, 2 December 2010

BIGOT -JOHNSON NOW RECALLS A FEW DUMB REMARKS MADE AT THE TABLES.................. ( Article by Bridgemeister Gibson )
- " I would have found that killing lead had I been paying attention to the bidding "
- " Try not to read anything into my hesitations "
- After being told that his 1H was an insufficient bid, the bemused player simply replied : " That's alright....because if I have to make it good, my partner will know I've got a poor suit "
- After going 3 off doubled in 4S for minus 800, the unfased declarer boldly announced : " I decided on an alternative line partner, because I knew the most obvious one was always going to leave me a trick short ! "
- " I would have led my singleton Ace partner, but you always keep telling me Aces are for biffing Kings "
- Asked why she didn't play out her AK of diamonds to defeat the opponent's 6NT contract, the raw novice proclaimed : " I have been repeatedly told to lead 4th highest from my longest and strongest suit against NT contracts "
- " I know I could improve my game if only I could learn to count "
- " Partner, it would be a grave error for you to assume that I know what I'm doing "
- " How can a pass be forcing ? "
- " I wouldn't partner anyone who wouldn't want me as their partner "
- A confused beginner turned towards a very knowlwedgeable RHO and asked : " I would very much appreciate it if you could enlighten me as to what you understand by my partner's bid ? "
- Asked what her partner's lead of the 7 of diamonds might be from, a flustered, tongue-tied lady replied ; " Errr...possibly 4th highest from middle of top of nothing "
- As a player reluctantly plonked down an opening pass on the table, he casually remarked : " I'm not particularly happy with that bid "
- " Partner, when I open the bidding in 3rd position, don't automatically presume I have an opening hand "
- " Listen closely partner.....when we open in NT, we must look to play the contract in a major.......but if we open a major, we must look to play the contract in NT "

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