If one was to strip away my alter egos, the man that remains would be nothing out of the ordinary. A dull man, rigidly fixated on wearing nothing but brown or grey trousers and shirts. Desperate to please and be accepted by others. Indeed, over the years I have allowed my naivety and gullibility to expose me to all forms of exploitation . Not once did I ever stop to reflect whether the process I was undertaking was in my best interests, such was my lack of awareness and understanding of personal, moral and political issues .
Having failed miserably to achieve any form of public acclaim, fame or fortune, I thankfully called upon my alter egos to rescue my situation. They seized the opportunity to " redesign me ", and turn me into world renown bridge blogger, thereby fulfilling long held fantasies of being a highly successful writer. Yet to my great consternation and dismay, I have been forced to accept that most of my readers view my material as " scandalous rot ", " total drivel ", and " utterly disgraceful ". Ouch.... those comments really hurt.
However, I must admit as a bridge player I am probably guilty of more untold breaches of the rules than any other. These I feel were originally down to a combination of inadvertence and ignorance. Nowadays, it is due to a lethal combination of extreme bloody-mindedness and breath-taking arrogance. Thankfully, most members at the Walnut Tree and the Slaughter House seem quite prepared to tolerate all my misdemeanours........or else turn the proverbial blind eye.
And so the real man behind Bigot-Johnson will, after finishing this post, return to the shadows. This means of course Bigot will be back in control. But as I cling onto these fleeting moments where for once I have center stage, I must now free myself completely from this strait-jacket of self-denial.......and finally answer the question as to who I really am.
Yes.....I, John Howard Gibson, am nothing more than a pale shadow of the man I would like to be. A dreamer. A fantasist. A role player. A faceless man......but thankfully one who possesses many masks.