1. Don't make any attempt to put them off their stride. Let them do all the talking and don't even contemplate interrupting their flow of conversation.
2. Strive to be a martyr. Stay dignified at all times, but adopt the look of a wounded deer. Using facial expressions and other appropriate forms of body language ( head bowed forward, slumped shoulders ) express your shock, grief and disappointment. Milk these negative emotions for all your worth.
3. Make absolutely sure you don't leave the door open for a possible U-turn or reconciliation. If they say " Maybe we could give it another go sometime in the future ", shake your limp head bravely and reply " No....there's no need to spare my feelings.....it's right that you should call it a day, and move on ".
4. Maximise your martyrdom. Acknowledge the fact that all your achievements were down to them. Acknowledge the fact that you are holding back their progress. Tell them that you will eventually recover from this set back, but in the short term comfort lies in the old adage " a change is as good as a rest ". Speak wistfully about your fondest memories, and the best moments you had together. Lines such as " Wow, do you remember slam we made on a combined 9 count ", and " What about that time we doubled two internationals for a 1700 penalty ".
5. Finally, as you make your way out of the club, stick in a hefty reminder that teaming up again is completely out of the question. This distressing experience is proving to be so painful, the thought of it happening to you again would be too unbearable.
6. Once outside the club and well out of earshot, scream at the top of your voice " Hallelujah..........Thank you Lord....... and I do believe in miracles ! "
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