SLAUGHTER HOUSE BRIDGE CLUB'S TWO NEW COMMITTEE MEMBERS

Following an unfortunate exodus of players from the club, Bigot soon realised something had to be done to stem the tide of pending financial disaster . Any further decline in membership numbers would be death knell for his beloved venture. Instinctively, he hit upon the perfect solution. This involved bringing Ronnie and Reggie straight onto the committee as paid executives.

Ronnie was given the post of hospitality and welfare officer, while Reggie took immediate charge of public relations, recruitment and internal communications.

With their impeccable credentials at fostering and developing absolute allegiance, obedience and loyalty from those they made contact with, it came as no surprise to see the remaining members attending every duplicate session week in, week out. And as dozens of white-faced newcomers signed up each month, happy to pay whatever fees that club asked for, Bigot 's money problems simply disappeared away.

So yet again a rather smug, and smarmy, Bigot congratulated himself on pulling off another masterful coup.